I have been married now to my husband for almost seven months and it is great! I am not saying that we don't have our tiffs, but I am strong advocate for marriage. Being a Black woman, I especially feel that Black women should take part in the religious sacrament. The statistics are staggering and appalling of how many Black women go through life without a husband compared to our white sisters. Marriage isn't for everyone - it is a very important life choice and should not be taken lightly as marriage was intended for life. There are many Black women who do want to be married yet are unable to find a suitable mate within in their own race; there are countless reasons, theories, and statistics that explain this phenomena of which I will not be exploring in this post. It is an interesting topic and do suggest all Black women who find that they are directly impacted should research in further detail to understand why this is occurring. Marriage is a deeply personal experience that can have so many psychologoica,l emotional, sprititual, and phsyical benefits. Interracial marriage is no different. These marriages are a controversial topic due to our country's historical race relations that will forever be a part of our past, so interracial couples do find that they have to deal with the approval or disapproval of those around them which can prove to very stressful yet also unifying for the couple. If you dont know about the Lovings- please google them, there story is inspirational and ground breaking as their life is a true testament of dealing with those stresses placed by society.
It is crazy that in today's day in age how little most people know about our racial counterparts due to segregation, stereotypical portrayals on mass media -where most people base their perceptions of races from, and just pure ignorance. Throughout this post I will discuss the daunting concerns and different mentalities that I have observed amongst Black women and their potential relationships to white men.
As women, we all have that ticking clock in our uterus and if children are part of your dream for a complete and fulfilling life - well a partner is needed and finding a husband is getting to become a harder and harder task especially when you reside in cities. More women are delaying marriage and childbearing so they can achieve higher education, yet Black women find it increasingly difficult to find Mr. Right in college, and that much more difficult if not impossible in their corporate fields of industry. Many women are finding this to be a strickening reality posing a major roadblock on their path of achieving childhood dreams of marriage. We must make a difficult decision on how important color is. Even though we have gone through life with this very obvious and beautirully blatant color on our skin, we love it, we hate it, we are judge by it- but will we let it stop us from marrying? After surviving the dating scene of NY and Miami my answer was HELL NO!!!!!!
I happily dated, fell in love, and married my white husband acknowledging that true love knows no color. Of course there are cultural differences like his love of rock and roll music and my almost narcissistic relationship with my hair- it is ok to be from a different culture, it enriches our relationships with each other, it makes our bonds stronger and unique. In speaking to and observing different women from friends to strangers about interracial dating/marriage you would be surprised how the color of skin has kept us in awe, silence, and innocently stupid.
There are many ideas that are running rampant about interracial relationships and the top two statements that are made about white men and interracial relationships blow me away! The first one is the hesitation to interracial relationships because of the color of his package. This reasoning is quite common and the most concerning! It is almost a lack of education that comes into play here and I am not really sure where to pinpoint what the time frame is that this information was missed- high school sex ed, teenage girl talk, kindergarten class, I don't know- but it is a real issue! I have heard conversations from the most sophisticated women- from both races- about this. Who cares what color it is - as long as he knows how to pleasure you! However to some women this is enough to discourage dating and marrying outside their race, my advice get yourself a flick and in the comfort and privacy of your abode- watch it and see how little anyone pays attention to the color of his goods. lol
Lastly the notion that all white men have better credit and have jobs so they are better men to marry. Yes when you are choosing your partner these are good things for him to have- good credit, a job, even a car- but to completely generalize the whole race of white men to those attributes is down right absurd!!!! Especially when it is soo easy in today's economy to be employed with good credit and a snazzy ride today and unemployed with questionable credi and on public transportation tomorrow! Yes financial issues play a role in a relationship but once it plays a greater role than the intimacy and affection between the two of you as a couple you are guaranteed to have issues that will make your relationship tumultuous.
There are so many women waiting for that traditional church wedding , wondering if it will happen at all- will they find Mr. Right in time? I encourage women to really take things into perspective and reflect on what the role of a husband will play in their life. As you consider what road to take in choosing your mate- throw color aside and date the man that will make you a happy woman regardless if he wasn't blessed with the same dosage of melanin as you!
