The Five Signs You Cant Ignore- Your Change is Coming

Life will throw you fast balls and you can either swing or sit your ass down... those are the only two choices you have, however the beauty of it all is that you will be given the signs to prepare you that your call to base is coming... Its your hit, will you go deaf and leave your opportunity to grow, progress, elevate to someone else or will you have faith that some good will come of this new unknown experience. For me- my signs came in five. Five signs that I couldn't ignore.

Sign 1. It was really random- it started from a facebook request- you know all these friends and family members you have on FB 99% of them you don't talk to and you aren't really sure you have met before, but Facebook seemed to know something that your didn't so you hit the accept button and months or years later you hadn't gotten around to unfriended them. "Can I crash at your place for New Years Eve, me and my three kids (who are all sick with strep) at your small condo?" Don't all jump up at once...but clearly this has to be a sign of the times- things are going to change. I was taken aback, but it was so obvious a sign I couldn't refuse. Signs are often times that good Samaritan act that you have every valid reason to say no, to turn your back, and be justified with every shadow of doubt. I challenge you to say yes. By saying yes you change the route of your journey; it may not be evident at first or at all, but do believe that no good deed goes unnoticed. So while you are reminding those little ones to cover their mouths while their hacking it up and keep repeating "Sharing is Caring" know that your next sign is coming.

Sign 2. The true character of your close ones will be revealed. They will understand for a brief moment in time the beauty of you and the thought of losing your mere existence in their life and they will reveal it in the most profound and simple way- but the hard part here is that you have to devoid yourself from the distraction, from the noise to see and hear this. Take a moment and put the effort into your friendships- someone has reached out with love, but you were too busy to understand this extension of love. Tomorrow I want you to make an effort in return and pick up the phone and call them. No excuses. Pick up the phone like we did fifteen-twenty years ago and have a conversation and make time for them.

Sign 3. Take advice from a young child, the younger the better. They are so innocent and clear- life is simple- its about give and take, say sorry and hug, then we pillow fight and eat chocolate. Kids, especially young kids, are the closest to God in my opinion- I mean how amazing is the process of life right, created from two: a mommy cell and a daddy cell 9 months later this beautiful new creature. From a chronological perspective, they are the closest to the Creator, they have this innate sense of life's balance and God's love before it becomes corrupted by the rest of us. Take heed from them and their cryptic advice that is often tied to some Disney movie metaphor or imaginary Sparto who keeps taking the peppermint candies. If you aren't around kids, now is the time to do someone a good deed and babysit. It's tough being a parent of a youngin' so the fact you are giving a couple a date night, God will surely bless you with a sign out of the mouth of babes.

Sign 4. Dates, pay attention to the calendar. I am a big believer in keeping calendars and writing what is supposed to happen and what actually does and doesn't. Just by keeping track of these things you will see yourself grow over time and patterns will begin to appear. For me the month of February is the worst, it is always seems to be the month where I am challenged emotionally, while March is my rebound month and May- oh May is my month of transformative happiness. If you don't mind the calendar like this- now is the time to start. I am sure it has to do with the stars and astrology and that stuff which is beautiful and I love it- but I live in the city of big lights NYC and it gets cold out here- so a calendar is a lot easier to track than the big dipper.

Sign 5. This post is your sign. Your sign that change is coming. The mere inspiration of me writing these words, you reading them- take it as your sign that change is coming and that you will step up to the plate with confidence, tackling this upcoming experience with grace, courage, and beauty. Its very easy to not open a new door, explore new opportunities, start new relationships but these things allow us to build our legacy, our character, our journey and literally begins with understanding the signs and being open to receive them.

SO THAT WE CAN ALL WIN

Late nights wound tight wondering if my LIGHT
will shine bright, life keeps trying to turn me left
but I know the Depths of his lies, and the promise of his Truth
If we keep focused on our skin....and not within

IN You and I, His light SHINES through
made in His image,
but we keep putting LIMITS
on his LOVE and transcendence
COME, COME, COME WITH ME;to a place where
HIS loves Reigns and Pierces ALL-HEAR the CALL

Go Deeper with HIM!!!
Get LOST WITHIN
and NOT WITH SKIN-
SO THAT WE CAN ALL WIN

34 Weeks of being a Preggo Newly Wed

Tonight I sit back and reflect on all the changes happening my life, nearing a new peak in my career, achieving almost all the goals I wanted to achieve ( as of yet)
Nearing the end of my first pregnancy with my Hubby, once darling love gets here we will be celebrating: my 27th birthday, Hubby's 27th bday and then a 3 year wedding anniversary; 2011 is a year of blessings.

Does Size Really Matter?

So I am so excited to watch the newest episode of the Game- Derwin finally proposes to Melanie! But here is the thing the rock really isn't that big -especially for a professional football player! But I ask you this does the size of the rock really matter?

I know one lovely lady told her man that the ring he first proposed with wasn't gonna fly, of course she didn't tell him that when he proposed but sure enough the first ring disappeared and was replaced with a larger fabulous one.

As women we dream about the rock, we shop for the rock- often times before we have the Right Man! So would you put a contingency on your I Do? There is so much marketing pushing us into believing the bigger the rock the better the man (and bank- lol)

Well my two cents for you- be more concerned about the size of his heart rather than the rock he proposes to you with!
CarmellesFabulosity

Let's Talks About It!

I have been married now to my husband for almost seven months and it is great! I am not saying that we don't have our tiffs, but I am strong advocate for marriage. Being a Black woman, I especially feel that Black women should take part in the religious sacrament. The statistics are staggering and appalling of how many Black women go through life without a husband compared to our white sisters. Marriage isn't for everyone - it is a very important life choice and should not be taken lightly as marriage was intended for life. There are many Black women who do want to be married yet are unable to find a suitable mate within in their own race; there are countless reasons, theories, and statistics that explain this phenomena of which I will not be exploring in this post. It is an interesting topic and do suggest all Black women who find that they are directly impacted should research in further detail to understand why this is occurring. Marriage is a deeply personal experience that can have so many psychologoica,l emotional, sprititual, and phsyical benefits. Interracial marriage is no different. These marriages are a controversial topic due to our country's historical race relations that will forever be a part of our past, so interracial couples do find that they have to deal with the approval or disapproval of those around them which can prove to very stressful yet also unifying for the couple. If you dont know about the Lovings- please google them, there story is inspirational and ground breaking as their life is a true testament of dealing with those stresses placed by society. It is crazy that in today's day in age how little most people know about our racial counterparts due to segregation, stereotypical portrayals on mass media -where most people base their perceptions of races from, and just pure ignorance. Throughout this post I will discuss the daunting concerns and different mentalities that I have observed amongst Black women and their potential relationships to white men.

As women, we all have that ticking clock in our uterus and if children are part of your dream for a complete and fulfilling life - well a partner is needed and finding a husband is getting to become a harder and harder task especially when you reside in cities. More women are delaying marriage and childbearing so they can achieve higher education, yet Black women find it increasingly difficult to find Mr. Right in college, and that much more difficult if not impossible in their corporate fields of industry. Many women are finding this to be a strickening reality posing a major roadblock on their path of achieving childhood dreams of marriage. We must make a difficult decision on how important color is. Even though we have gone through life with this very obvious and beautirully blatant color on our skin, we love it, we hate it, we are judge by it- but will we let it stop us from marrying? After surviving the dating scene of NY and Miami my answer was HELL NO!!!!!!

I happily dated, fell in love, and married my white husband acknowledging that true love knows no color. Of course there are cultural differences like his love of rock and roll music and my almost narcissistic relationship with my hair- it is ok to be from a different culture, it enriches our relationships with each other, it makes our bonds stronger and unique. In speaking to and observing different women from friends to strangers about interracial dating/marriage you would be surprised how the color of skin has kept us in awe, silence, and innocently stupid.

There are many ideas that are running rampant about interracial relationships and the top two statements that are made about white men and interracial relationships blow me away! The first one is the hesitation to interracial relationships because of the color of his package. This reasoning is quite common and the most concerning! It is almost a lack of education that comes into play here and I am not really sure where to pinpoint what the time frame is that this information was missed- high school sex ed, teenage girl talk, kindergarten class, I don't know- but it is a real issue! I have heard conversations from the most sophisticated women- from both races- about this. Who cares what color it is - as long as he knows how to pleasure you! However to some women this is enough to discourage dating and marrying outside their race, my advice get yourself a flick and in the comfort and privacy of your abode- watch it and see how little anyone pays attention to the color of his goods. lol


Lastly the notion that all white men have better credit and have jobs so they are better men to marry. Yes when you are choosing your partner these are good things for him to have- good credit, a job, even a car- but to completely generalize the whole race of white men to those attributes is down right absurd!!!! Especially when it is soo easy in today's economy to be employed with good credit and a snazzy ride today and unemployed with questionable credi and on public transportation tomorrow! Yes financial issues play a role in a relationship but once it plays a greater role than the intimacy and affection between the two of you as a couple you are guaranteed to have issues that will make your relationship tumultuous.

There are so many women waiting for that traditional church wedding , wondering if it will happen at all- will they find Mr. Right in time? I encourage women to really take things into perspective and reflect on what the role of a husband will play in their life. As you consider what road to take in choosing your mate- throw color aside and date the man that will make you a happy woman regardless if he wasn't blessed with the same dosage of melanin as you!

Shacking Up- A Do or Dont ?

Well I have been faced with this question twice and both times I answered the same answer, but I was damned sure the circumstances were different! In this post it is my intention to further delve into this issue as many black women face this- I have and several of my homegirls have so lets talk about it!

I find that the most common reasons cited for sharing the boudoir and the financial and convenience implications. You guys are spending nuff' time together- you leaving behind your hair grooming products(gotta keep the tresses in check especially when you are at his crib)- he's got several of his kicks lined up in the back of your closet next to your heels and a draw full of his boxers and socks. You find it easier to stay at his crib during the week b/c he lives closer to the express train that guarantees you on time to work or he is crashing at your crib on the weekends b/c his roomies are complete jerkoffs that completely ruin the vibe. Yet the both of you are paying rent- and with today's economic conditions money is tight- shoot the dates have taken on a creative twist already to alleviate the pockets! So shaking up seem like the right answer- right?

Well that's what I thought when i was a freshman in college- it just made sense and I was plenty far away from my Momma so the back hands were just being delivered over the telephone- they were hard to take but easily soothed with the dial tone after the click came down hard when I was adamant with my decision to play house. After a while the relationship began to become more of a living situation in the romance department and then with a blink of an eye he lost his job and he dipped back home to his Momma (all of which went down during my bday week. He was so tack!) So that was my first scenario.

The second time I had graduated from college and had the job with benefits (so presumably i was older with some wisdom) I started dating a coworker undercover and we were spending tons of time with each other back and forth every night- we exchanged keys first, the marriage talk was occurring on a daily basis, then the ring appeared and so did the moving boxes. For me personally, Scenario # 2 was the best one for me- Shoot I wear that ring everyday! lol Seriously, my hubby was serious about our relationship and showed it by proposing- it was more than just a living situation- For him it was about securing our future together. Scenario number one was based purely on convenience to a short term relationship so the best thing he could do was offer moving in together which thankfully was a short bid. lol

So in closing, my advice would probably be to say no to shacking up before a credible commitment has been made and truly only you can determine if that commitment is credible and genuine. I believe the woman is more susceptible to getting hurt emotionally and financially with cohabitation before marriage; so if you are like my younger dumber self and wont listen at least keep yourself prepared for that unthinkable day that statistics show will probably happen. Get something in writing or better yet- get that money upfront (two months of rent should suffice)!



CarmellesFabulosity

Interracial Love

I have received several requests to share My Aruban Wedding video, Enjoy!




True love knows no color!

CarmellesFabulosity

Almost Twenty Five

I am almost officially a mid twenty hottie! The years have seemed to fly past with smiles and tears with let downs and accomplishments.

I will say that my life plan that I charted out when I was a pre-teen didn't exactly go as plan but some major moments that I did plan and accomplish are

-Leaving home as soon as I was 18 years old
-attending and graduating from the Fashion Institute of Technology in NY
-Designing for and and co-producing several fashion shows in NY
-Being young, fabulous, and broke in NY
-Having great girlfriends that have my back no matter what
-Making over 40k with my first job out of college (especially when I was told it couldn't be done)
-Working in the fashion industry on the planning side
-Working in the fashion industry on the buying side
-Working in the fasihon industry on the vendor side
-Being natural and growing locks(ten years in the making)
-Falling in love in with Mr. Right
-Marrying Mr. Right on a tropical beach

So I am not going to go through all of them but as you gathered from what I have shared- my life goals are centered around my relationships, fashion, and my career and for being 24- I am pretty damn proud of thus so far- gotta give thanks to God for giving me a Mom that knew how to put some sense in me! lol

As the months count down and the days of being 24 slip away I look forward to turning 25 in Chicago! Always looking for some suggestions to ring in 25!

-CarmellesFabulosity

The Dress is here and it Doesn't Fit!

I ordered my wedding dress in July and fit into a size 12 but I couldn't possibly get married in a size 12- not when i used to be either a 6 or 8 depending on the designer. I took a risk and ordered a size 10. So with early morning workouts, lunch time workouts, and 96 oz of water a day i was going to show those who were nervous about my decision to get a smaller size. I mean I am Carmelle! As stubborn as I am- there was just no way I was going to take a size 12 !

Well the size ten dress arrived on Monday- I was super excited and really nervous. How would i feel if I hadn't in fact lost enough weight to fit into the dress? There would be no way to order another size due to the lead time. I took the dress into the room with the door locked behind me and said a quick prayer as i slipped into the dress. And would you believe it- it didn't fit. It was too big!!!!! I should have gotten an 8! The dress is soo big on me it needs to be taken in all over. On Tuesday i am meeting with my seamstress so that she can help make my size ten dress a size 8.

I am still doing my 5am workouts and drinking my water but have cut back my lunch time workouts(mostly due to so many projects on my plate) - who knows maybe the size ten dress will slowly transform itself into a six. Since March I have lost 30 pounds. I still want to lose another ten pounds to get back to my college weight and those sexy abs i used to flaunt.
At work I joined this competition similar to the biggest loser with 3 other lovely ladies. I will tell you it definitely motivated me to get moving! There is nothing like a weekly weigh in to make think twice about those weekend binge eating fests.

So for all those lovely divas; who aren't happy with the few extra pounds that just happened to appear overnight- just make it leave. Use that fabulous girl power and kick box it, zumba it, walk it, run it, ab blast it, lunge it, squat it, and samba it out and off of you!

Well Carmelle's Fabulosity is out!

Its Sunday!

This is the day the Lord has made! It is also game day, Jake is kicking himself in the a** b/c he benched Ronnie Brown for his fantasy football and he apparently is doing his thing. Fantasy football is beyond me but I cant escape it. Jake at home, my mom on the phone, and my boss at work inquiring about Jake's teams..... For better or worse.... I will say though this is definitely a good flaw for my hubby to have especially since I cant escape football in any other aspect of my life.

I made a good pot of rice and beans says my taste tester,"even the beans taste good." Domestic bliss at its best! Another chill day of lounging on the couch, strategizing the fastest way to stuff invitations, and wondering what I will be walking into at work on Monday. The countdown is on for the wedding in Aruba! I am so excited, my dress will be arriving any day now. Following the link in the enclosure to see my fabulous dress!

Olivia the Cat is going to need a sitter during our wedding adventure in Aruba. This will be an interesting episode in our lives as I have never interviewed a cat sitter and quite honestly i am not too comfortable with a stranger taking care of Olivia in our place- It just weirds me out. If i had a high discretionary income I would so buy the teddy bears with the hidden cameras to ensure this sitter isn't overfeeding Olivia ( which Jake constantly blames me for) or snooping through our stuff. I just dont like it- but we have no choice, b/c there is no way I am sharing Jake on my wedding adventure with Olivia- she can get pretty possessive of Jake.

I miss my NY divas! I keep getting invites to all these happening around the city and pics of my models partying it up! I will say that i dont miss the parties all that much- there is something about drunk men stepping on my too cute stilettos or hating females that try to take up all the mirror space in the bathroom that definitely doesn't fly with me anymore but I miss my crazy homegirl Peaches who can get me clapping my hands, sucking my teeth, and switching my neck about pretty much anything withing 45 seconds flat; she never fails!

So one thing that bothers me about being a dread, there are not enough hair styling tips- so annoying! i can type in hairstyles in google and come up with a enough hairstyles to keep Paris Hilton and Tyra Banks's hair fried, dyed, and laid to the side while a natural sistah like myself has to spend hrs in front of the mirror with a gajillion hair pins trying to come up with a hair do(& dont)- so annoying- it is on my to do list to travel around the world and take pics of dreaded divas with their beautiful coifs. I mean it costs a hundred bucks just to get my hair washed- we are not even talking styling so what is a girl to do for a wedding day? Please if you see a a pretty loc'd do- share the style with moi!

Well I think that i have done enough rambling in a short time... Time to surf the net some more.

Peace and love!

Carmelle's Fabulosity

Update

Friends and Family!

There are so many things going on!
Life in Chicago is a blast! Chicago being the largest city in the Mid-West affords many benefits:

• Diversity
• Vibrant Fashion Scene
• Great (clean) City living
• Amazing professional environment
• Eclectic Food

Another exciting thing about Chicago: I celebrated my 24th Birthday! I want to thank all well wishers!









So now to the real meat of this blog: The Wedding!!!!!

The Wedding is October 18, 2008 in Aruba at the Manchebo Resort. The countdown is on!!!
I also found my wedding dress from Watters! I tried on 3 dresses in total at House of Brides and
when I tried on the wedding dress, I cried! I wanted to marry Jacob right then and there in the fitting room that had ceiling to floor mirrors with such great lighting ! I stared at myself for about twenty minutes twirling around and imagining the sound of the waves crashing on the beach with the sound of the violinist in the background- I am super excited!

wedding dress


Linda my life long sister from another mother helped pick out the color blue that I needed to complete the wedding colors. If you are a part of the wedding party you will be receiving your swatch, if not already.

Jacob and I are almost complete with our registries- well we have completed the online process and we are currently working on the in-store process. It is alot of fun roaming up and down aisles with a scanner choosing the items that will be from the people we love in our new life as a married couple! We are registered at Target, Bed Bath and Beyond, Macys, Crate and Barrel, and Sears; we also have a honeymoon registry- check out our wedding website (you should have the site from the save the date card).

As of now the guest count to Aruba is quickly growing ; Jacob and I are soo excited to share this monumental time in our lives with our closest friends and family! However for those who can't make the fabulous trip to Aruba the party will continue in Miami, Fl October 25,2008 Welcome the Newly Weds Back! Expect your invitations to arrive shortly!