Wave stay with Me

Brought forth, your being knitted into this tapestry of Tomorrow that became Now
On HIS Day you were revealed and rejoiced for
We knew you when most couldn't

We cried;Most wouldn't share the time
To revel in your beauty AND humor, YOUR unique CANDOR
I ALWAYS loved YOU and MY FAMILY LOVED YOU

Blessed are thee that are called to the LORD
THANK YOU!!!!
THE BLESSING of Wave-
Not here, yet with me everyday,
Love Intense spent in urgent and
fast Waves
Emotion A rhythm that's like my heart beat
Borne to I.... ME
I of WE loved you,

Dreams of GREAT things
Bright heart, Inner Glow
We were excited to watch you Grow


Now No MORE,Not in My Arms like I dreamed
Baby I kissed and held you every night
You knew my every prayer and I was thankful
for the Time, It wasn't Mine but the connection eternal
Servant of Tomorrow, Nurturer of Today, Forgiver of Yesterday
I am Your MOTHER, I was Chosen,and my being longs for you

Every Day until END of Days
And into then After, As it was Written
I shall be with You- ALWAYS
I LOVE YOU

The Five Signs You Cant Ignore- Your Change is Coming

Life will throw you fast balls and you can either swing or sit your ass down... those are the only two choices you have, however the beauty of it all is that you will be given the signs to prepare you that your call to base is coming... Its your hit, will you go deaf and leave your opportunity to grow, progress, elevate to someone else or will you have faith that some good will come of this new unknown experience. For me- my signs came in five. Five signs that I couldn't ignore.

Sign 1. It was really random- it started from a facebook request- you know all these friends and family members you have on FB 99% of them you don't talk to and you aren't really sure you have met before, but Facebook seemed to know something that your didn't so you hit the accept button and months or years later you hadn't gotten around to unfriended them. "Can I crash at your place for New Years Eve, me and my three kids (who are all sick with strep) at your small condo?" Don't all jump up at once...but clearly this has to be a sign of the times- things are going to change. I was taken aback, but it was so obvious a sign I couldn't refuse. Signs are often times that good Samaritan act that you have every valid reason to say no, to turn your back, and be justified with every shadow of doubt. I challenge you to say yes. By saying yes you change the route of your journey; it may not be evident at first or at all, but do believe that no good deed goes unnoticed. So while you are reminding those little ones to cover their mouths while their hacking it up and keep repeating "Sharing is Caring" know that your next sign is coming.

Sign 2. The true character of your close ones will be revealed. They will understand for a brief moment in time the beauty of you and the thought of losing your mere existence in their life and they will reveal it in the most profound and simple way- but the hard part here is that you have to devoid yourself from the distraction, from the noise to see and hear this. Take a moment and put the effort into your friendships- someone has reached out with love, but you were too busy to understand this extension of love. Tomorrow I want you to make an effort in return and pick up the phone and call them. No excuses. Pick up the phone like we did fifteen-twenty years ago and have a conversation and make time for them.

Sign 3. Take advice from a young child, the younger the better. They are so innocent and clear- life is simple- its about give and take, say sorry and hug, then we pillow fight and eat chocolate. Kids, especially young kids, are the closest to God in my opinion- I mean how amazing is the process of life right, created from two: a mommy cell and a daddy cell 9 months later this beautiful new creature. From a chronological perspective, they are the closest to the Creator, they have this innate sense of life's balance and God's love before it becomes corrupted by the rest of us. Take heed from them and their cryptic advice that is often tied to some Disney movie metaphor or imaginary Sparto who keeps taking the peppermint candies. If you aren't around kids, now is the time to do someone a good deed and babysit. It's tough being a parent of a youngin' so the fact you are giving a couple a date night, God will surely bless you with a sign out of the mouth of babes.

Sign 4. Dates, pay attention to the calendar. I am a big believer in keeping calendars and writing what is supposed to happen and what actually does and doesn't. Just by keeping track of these things you will see yourself grow over time and patterns will begin to appear. For me the month of February is the worst, it is always seems to be the month where I am challenged emotionally, while March is my rebound month and May- oh May is my month of transformative happiness. If you don't mind the calendar like this- now is the time to start. I am sure it has to do with the stars and astrology and that stuff which is beautiful and I love it- but I live in the city of big lights NYC and it gets cold out here- so a calendar is a lot easier to track than the big dipper.

Sign 5. This post is your sign. Your sign that change is coming. The mere inspiration of me writing these words, you reading them- take it as your sign that change is coming and that you will step up to the plate with confidence, tackling this upcoming experience with grace, courage, and beauty. Its very easy to not open a new door, explore new opportunities, start new relationships but these things allow us to build our legacy, our character, our journey and literally begins with understanding the signs and being open to receive them.

Bleh 2015 to Hell Yeah

So I was excited for 2015.... But it had other plans for me; I lost my job, had a miscarriage, and now my whole life is about to be upside down as we uproot from NYC to God only knows where as I am interviewing with companies all over the country. As I come to terms that life is no longer growing in my womb as I pack boxes, I can only be thankful for what I do have. Every morning before I get out of bed I make myself go down a list.

-My own life and the ability to get pregnant again- it was real touch and go there during the miscarriage

-My beautiful 3 year old daughter- she inspires me to be resilient and striving to be beautiful

-My loving husband that is always there with me as God takes us on this roller coaster journey

-My mother and sister which have been and will always be my motivation to keep going- that I cant be stopped

It is now March and I have been longing to write from January, but somehow I couldn't bare to get on here because to write for me is to bare my soul, to deal with my sadness, and disappointments; to be jolted out of my sleep and depression. Months have passed and uncertainty remains, but the beauty I love and revere remains and is flourishing... despite the harsh winter, the seeds are blossoming. Here is what this post will be about- what I have learned in 2015 and what I expect out of the remainder of the year.

All women experience miscarriages, only 20-25% of women know about it, and of that 20-25% about 50% of them experience miscarriage in their first trimester. No matter how you slice and dice it- when you find out you are expecting you immediately begin to dream and yearn about your growing child, you want nothing but the best for them, and you so badly want them in your arms. When you are unable to hold your child in your arms, it is heart breaking and simply said it is a loss. With every loss, mourning and grieving needs to happen in order to heal. There is no time line, right/wrong way, or cookie-cutter way to deal with handling this type of loss; for me- everyday is different and I have to acknowledge the fact that I am a child of God. I am due an inheritance that is only for me and that with every blessing and tribulation I have to continue to thank Him because I am being elevated even when it feels like I am quickly sinking. Today's hurdle and obstacle are ladder rungs into my new reality that I cant even begin to imagine for myself and when I reach my new plateau I will be able to understand the scars I received along the way and that they will only make my testimony a tool to be able to relate with someone else to tell them its going to be ok, I know how despair and hopelessness feels like, but I know what accomplishment, joy, and love feels like to and it is worth every pain and tear shed.

Unemployment... Geesh this one definitely threw me for a loop, I have been employed since I was 16 years old (and well the season of spring is setting on this chicken!), I have managed to dodge major layoffs, pink slips, and any sort of loss of job until 2015. I am a bonafide workaholic- I was living my childhood dream working in the fashion/retail industry. Now I am not saying I have loved every job- most of the times I was stressed out, extremely fatigued, and paranoid about not having the right answer when it was time for me to say my spiel. I often had to deal with perception issues about being a Black woman with dreads in Corporate America, ensuring I was given my respect due, and had to fight tooth and nail to execute my strategies that I knew were the right thing to do for the customer. It was always worth it though when I saw my customer with that look in her eye- you know that look when you have struck gold on a shoe floor, jewelry case, or fitting room; that moment where you are like YES!!! THIS WAS MEANT FOR ME!! When I was a little girl, I was picked on for not having Nikes, Tommy Hilfiger, and other designer labels in my wardrobe and I wanted nothing more to give every girl the access to beauty and confidence with out the labels and high price tags. No one should have to choose between eating or having the "right wardrobe".

Yes I no longer work for the major retailor but my passion for a woman's beauty and confidence prevails coupled with my each one teach one attitude. Sometimes you need the noise to be silenced so that truth can be uncovered and revealed, in this short time I have uncovered a new passion- nutrition. I have discovered the Paleo diet and have found myself in the kitchen unlike ever before experimenting with fruits and vegetables cooking with love- sometimes it is a success and other times... not so much, but definitely a lesson learned. I am finding beauty in not only the outer esthetic of clothes and accessories, but also in what we put in our bodies and our families' bodies. I have taught my daughter and I am sure a lot of it is in the genes about what beauty is and she is obsessed with it as well as frozen and dinosaurs. I have taught her that being beautiful means being brave, courageous, forgiving, polite, and resilient- and a touch of lip gloss and nail polish are the cherries on top. Now I am including the importance of eating the foods that God created- and balancing that with what man made/processed foods... albeit my explanations are dramatic " your pretty smile will fall out of your head if you eat to much goldfish" hey she is three and she is eating bell peppers, sweet potatoes, and cauliflower and actually saying it is yummy so don't judge me!

I really don't know what is going to happen with my life in the next couple months or this grand year of 2015, but I do know that I see happiness and tears, growth, success, health, beauty, nutrition, building up women of all walks of life, and of course a deeper relationship with my God. I am scared shitless but at the same exact time I am exhilarated at the possibilities and the new chapter that is unfolding before me! All I can do now, is wash my face, moisturize, draw on some liner and pucker my lips for a stunning lip color and kiss yesterday goodbye and today and tomorrow HELLO!!

SO THAT WE CAN ALL WIN

Late nights wound tight wondering if my LIGHT
will shine bright, life keeps trying to turn me left
but I know the Depths of his lies, and the promise of his Truth
If we keep focused on our skin....and not within

IN You and I, His light SHINES through
made in His image,
but we keep putting LIMITS
on his LOVE and transcendence
COME, COME, COME WITH ME;to a place where
HIS loves Reigns and Pierces ALL-HEAR the CALL

Go Deeper with HIM!!!
Get LOST WITHIN
and NOT WITH SKIN-
SO THAT WE CAN ALL WIN

Beauty is Skin Deep

Beauty is a mirror of our internal soul and emotions
No matter how expensive the lotion
it can never mask the notion
of Anger, rage, and depression
we may wear a smile on our face to interfere with first impressions
but overall take heed of this beauty lesson
what is in your heart that beats and the words from our tongues
that marinate and roll out with deep breaths from our lungs
have lethal powers like guns
cocked and loaded be careful how your inner beauty is coated
It can heal the wounds created by decades of fear
Or tear open stitches that never had a chance to heal- do you hear
the screams of a broken heart being torn apart because of a selfish star
that cant realize its true height because of society's lies
You aren't skinny, light, or bright enough,
Dim your light because it isn't pretty enough
Hide yourself under layers upon layers of vanity
this isn't what HE intended for Humanity
Remember your life was saved and spared, because there was another somewhere
Who didn't make it and you wont know her name- its a shame
Lift your mind and soul to hear her tale often times untold
BE BOLD and know that
Beauty is Skin Deep

Never Lost

Never lost, in between right and wrong, but my past self is long gone.
Deep breath exhale, expel the lies, far from truth keep me close to Ruth;
Overjoyed at redemption a sudden release of tension but can I mention,
His love for me runneth over.
Watch me glow while I flow into transcendence.............
Elevate awareness, souls bareness,
Harness being
Never Lost

Beauty Ritual REVEALED!

PURIFICATION. 

Procedures of extracting impurities. 

Cleansing, scrubbing...rinse with cold water. 

Pat pat dry. Deep breath

Inhale and meditate on TRUTH and BEAUTY. 

Exhale and envelop 

Light weight deep-penetrating moisture and renewal. 

Repeat two to three times a day 

Results.... flawless reflection of inner beauty 

Beauty Rituals Ingredient List HERE

 

Get You Some Color

2014 IS THE YEAR & I OWN IT!!

 

They said I was crazy (not to my face); but I kept on dreaming- taking big steps toward my future goals which you might not understand today- but you will in due time. My faith has kept me inspired and determined for more. They say I am never satisfied with what I have- but they dont know what is rightfully mine. That is ok because I will be the beacon of light in a world of haters, naysayers, and the unbelieving. I will inspire you, motivate you, and bless you! For now take note of my beauty secrets- put a little color on you, because you are looking a little pale with disbelief. Guess what at 43% off you really cant hate on that! Besos mi amor!

Click Here to Get These Must Have Bronzers

It's Time to Lead on Leave

Women!!! Demand your leave as part of your compensation- if a company doesn't
see value in maternity leave, it doesn't see the value in you. There are
lots of companies that offer paid maternity leave and those are the ones that
understand that the cost of maternity leave is a small investment in
having women in the workforce because women bring immeasurable benefits  to a company.

Will You Jump

Life presents opportunities and hurdles; its how we react when we encounter these lovely life speed bumps-this is what defines us. At what point do you say- I only live once and go for it? At what point do you embrace the change and run towards it with hands wide open and eyes closed shut? It takes courage and faith to know that nothing changes when nothing changes. Life is too short to live in fear of taking an opportunity or challenge head on. You know what I say- check yourself in the mirror, reapply that lip gloss, smooth your hair and GO FOR IT!!!

How Did You Know

Now in 2014 I have been doing some major reflection on what I have accomplished being thoughtful of my missteps, and always ready for what God places on my shoulders. Today I reminisced on what were my happiest moments and it was knowing when.
You know that moment when...
When everything seems to align perfectly.

On Your Mark Get set_ You still here?

My Lovebug is here- she has been for about four months now- Ellabelle Jeanne. She is one of the those off the charts baby- literally, the Dr says so every month. She is quite the blessing and I am forever thankful! So I am a NYC hot mom learning how to juggle life as a wife, mom, and working fashionista. It is difficult- which is an understatement with constant interrupted sleep (but we are working on getting baby girl's sleep more in line with Mamma) dealing with shoe buyers and vendors, crunching numbers predicting trends and trying to lose the last 3 pounds of my baby weight. I cant believe that I gained almost 60 pounds during my first pregnancy; but totally psyched that it is almost all gone. Breastfeeding does wonders for baby and Mom. Tomorrow I start my gym membership at Crunch, now that I have lost pretty much all of my baby weight I wont to lose another 18-20 pounds to get me to my wedding weight. My 3yr anniversary is coming around the corner and it is crazy as I reflect on how much my life has changed in a few short years. I am working for one of my dream companies, toting the cutest baby on my hip, with the man I fell in love with 4yrs ago. Life aint easy but it is definitely eventful and exciting!

34 Weeks of being a Preggo Newly Wed

Tonight I sit back and reflect on all the changes happening my life, nearing a new peak in my career, achieving almost all the goals I wanted to achieve ( as of yet)
Nearing the end of my first pregnancy with my Hubby, once darling love gets here we will be celebrating: my 27th birthday, Hubby's 27th bday and then a 3 year wedding anniversary; 2011 is a year of blessings.

My Tresses and their Magical Powers

I was that child sitting underneath my mother's hot comb in the kitchen, as she pressed out my kinks, curls, and waves out of my hair. I was also that child like many other Black children that received burn scars from falling hot combs because of fidgeting while Mami said to "Sit still!". I learned at an early age that my natural hair was not what people wanted to see, that women spent their Saturdays from dawn to midnight in the salon every week trying to achieve the un-natural look, passing it off as natural.

I totally get why our culture is the way it is with Black hair and the inherent influences of colonial rule and oppression of our BLACK definition of beauty, which has been warped and not really indicative of our true nature as Black women. But even in the 90s I still felt that oppression, that peer pressure, and the demand to conform, changing my hair texture with harmful chemicals so I could fit in. However being burnt constantly and getting fed up of camping outside of Nikki's Hair Salon before the sun would rise (she always forgot to set her alarm-so she said). I grew out my natural hair in protest and in self awareness, that was almost ten years ago.

There were plenty of arguments with my Mom where she would question "With who are you going with your hair looking like that? Not with me." There were plenty of hair styles that she loved and hated, the fro, the blowout, twists, braids, Bantu knots, crimps, frohawks, and dreads. I felt strong and confident with my natural hair with each passing year and being in NY and Miami, I didn't feel weird or different because of my natural hair.

As I reached my senior year of college my locks were reaching my shoulders, and my mother began to really express concern about me finding a job because of them. I read numerous articles about people being fired because of their locks, but I was not going to let the job market dictate my personal choices and I was in the fashion industry. Nevertheless, I did find a job, rather quickly actually which I attributed to my educational background and my strong work ethic. But when I relocated from New York to Kansas, I quickly realized how different I was and how off-putting my differences were compared to everyone else and the fact that I was a vegetarian didn't help- but that in itself is a different post. I didn't stay in Kansas long, it was really stifling to be in a "Corporate America" situation where the diversity was so lacking and it was obvious that my hair choices were not ideal.

I relocated with my fiance in tow to the biggest city in the Midwest to a bigger corporation, where it screamed diversity, however I still did feel that my hair was scrutinized more so than my white female counterparts. I have come to accept that my hair will always be something of conversation, if I let the locks flow, or if weave in curly/straight hair with highlights. I have been told that my natural hair was not preferred by co-workers, and completely floored with compliments when I switched it up with straight tresses.


I understood that being a Black woman in Corporate America would have its challenges but never did I dream that my hair would be such an issue in the retail/apparel industry, despite my mothers constant commentary; I thought she didn't really understand since she is in the medical industry and her own personal opinion being a derivative of her traditional Haitian views. It can be rather stressful and overwhelming dealing with my image and managing perceptions of non Black co-workers. I am thankful that I do have a great support system from my White husband who always encourages that I let my true beauty shine through.

I will continue to keep my own sense of style and rock the locks until I decide otherwise. I will continue to ignore the constant nagging of Corporate America of what I should look like. I will be the one to dictate what my hair should look like, despite the passive aggressive ways of the corporate atmosphere. I do wonder how I am going to approach this situation with my future children as they too will be confronted with this, especially being biracial, it is difficult taming the tresses and mastering their magical powers, because they really do put a weird spell on others.





CarmellesFabulosity.

Haiti, My Love

It is from your womb my origins are traced
Your journey to this current place,
has been filled with blood, sweat, and tears
But because of this we must have no fear.

On your shoulders I stand tall,
Vowing never to fall,
Nor disgrace nor bring about shame
My perseverance will never be tamed
Higher we must go, stronger we must fight,
Faithfully we shall pray.

With each new day, survival is key
We must never forget Ayiti
Many do not know their history
but it is because of Ayiti we are here.
Haiti, My Love L'Union Fait La force

2010 is Here and My Post is Late!

So Excited for this New Year 2010

Its 2010! Can't believe it! When I was younger, I surely thought there would be spaceships flying around and everyone would be dressed in silver and black with robots as friends. Crazy to see how things are so far from what I imagined yet so close!This year will be a year of challenges, successes, and opportunities to try things again but differently and I am very excited and blessed to have the opportunity to experience another year with my Husband, family, and friends.

2 weeks into this year and I already have changed departments at work, found a new place to live, and diagnosed with a new medical condition. Can't nobody tell me this year isn't going to be a new and different year! I am very excited for the blessings that God is going to bestow upon me and the strength he is going to input in me to overcome new obstacles! I am 25, but not for much longer so I am definitely getting my house in order to ring in my 26th birthday as I move into another era of my adulthood and womanhood.

My New Years resolution for 2010 is to grow in my faith in Jesus Christ, grow in my marriage, to lose weight(that is a constant since i hit 20! lol), continue to get my finances in order, and learn as much as possible at work to achieve my life long dream of entrepreneurial success. I pray that your 2010 is a prosperous and healthy year and if nothing else that you learn something that you didn't from last year!
Happy 2010 everyone!

MUAHHHH

CarmellesFabulosity!

I Want to Lose My Property Virginity

I cant stop thinking about it, financially planning for it, searching for it.
I want to lose my property virginity and put my name on a lot of land!

Three bedrooms with a design studio 2 1/2 bath
Killer kitchen overlooking the pooled yard
JO's music and art den
killer vanity to do my hair makeup and creating the fabulosity
Closets galore

Oooh how the dream continues each time I watch a property virgin breathed out in excitment

Im sold, lets sign it, and its ours!

I cant wait to find property bliss!


CarmellesFabulosity

Blessings in the Madness

So life has been super crazy between work and home life and my internet life has gone by the way side. I am trying to balance my work life, home life, and trying to manage my personal me time as well- it is definitely a struggle but i think that i am getting better-especially since i am posting a blog!

Some highlights for the past couple of months are:

We finally found a financial advisor that will help us manage our long term financial goals

JHubby found a job!!!!!!

We had some visitors come out of town to help celebrate my 25th Bday

A major tearjerker, is the passing of my great grandmother at 104 years of age on my mom's bday. I know that she is looking down on me and my family smiling, laughing, and wiping away the tears. I strive to live a life as long as hers, she is my inspiration as she raised my mom and my mom is unbelivably incredible. RIP Gran'ma Clemence XOXOXO

Its Almost Time-Pop Them Babies

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As I get closer to my 25th birthday I have become very reflective- For those of you who dont know personally, this is nothing new- each year rings in with reflective hearts, clean souls, and food to feast.

On the approach of 25 years living on this Earth; from when my mother gave birth to me- I can now truly judge myself and others in my life, learn from the mistakes, and rejoice in the blessing of accomplishments I have received from OUR FATHER.

As It gets closer to my birthday, I think of the Little ONES who were born near or close to 728 and the joy that overtook me (and continues still) when I saw their beautiful eyes, full of HIS love, secure in HIS strength, and sweet in HIS forgetfulness- what an awesome thing and their fabulous diva preggo moms of course!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Dont Have to Go Bald!

I am sitting here with my aching feet, watching Dancing with the Stars, and imagining what grown up Me would look like with a fro again. Some of my youtube buddies have taken a comb to their locs and a chopped at least 10 inches of length. For those who are not familiar with locs it is a hairstyle that take years to lock and grow. I have been growing my locks for 7 years and they still had me beat by at least 6 inches! It took 3 weeks to comb out over 100 locs! I will say that it is nice to know that when I do get the nerve to change the hair- which I have promised the Hubby that I would wait until after our first kid- that I don't have to shave my head! I am excited by the possibilities!

CarmellesFabulosity.